I have decided I'm gonna buy a bear trap, and put it out by my fireplace around Antichristmas. I am going to prove that Santa Clause exists, even if he chews off his leg to escape. At least I'll that bastard's DNA.

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AI slop flyers really do scream "we have a tight budget". like not even trying to mask it anymore

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“While I did several monologues in voiceover claiming that sea lions have a quiet majesty, they are actually just stinky, slippery wet dogs with fins that are mediocre at best” — David Attenborough

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Dreamt I wrote an album with Olivia Rodrigo called “The Fabric of Our Intentions” and then we had to make a PowerPoint presentation out of acrylic paint, as one does to promote music

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