It’s also not all bad. I’ve had incredible opportunities to travel and see the world, and my castmates have become family to me. This is not me saying “woe is me”; this is me being real, and drawing a line for myself as Alex Rochon the person, not Alex Rochon the “public figure”.

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It sucks to feel this way too because, like, I LOVE this job! I love playing Caine, and I love the rush of playing all sorts of new characters, telling their stories, and seeing how people empathize with them. I’ll be okay; I’m too stubborn to quit. Things just need to slow down a bit.

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This isn’t even a “haha digital circus fandom bad” thing. In my opinion ALL fandoms are bad because the internet, by design, enables all sorts of zealotry and narcissism. “Fame” affords me a lot; more than most people can say. But also I need to maintain a healthy distance from it.

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I love my job. But I don’t know if I can handle another project I’m cast in being as big as Digital Circus again. Sometimes I think I just want to retire out of the spotlight and social media early if I can; being a public figure invites too many vultures, especially when fandom becomes involved.

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i think one of my most formative moments was taking acid in november 2021 and having a terrible vision of myself which i could only describe as "what if i proceeded to do nothing with myself except go on the internet everyday" and i've been trying not to realise that ever since

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