Will there ever be a day of our lives where we're not called upon to think about Farage? I'd got all the way to noon. It's like that thing with 'Last Christmas'.

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Nigel Farage said he's "the most attacked public figure or politician of modern times" even though people have tried to shoot his best mate Trump several times. He's gonna ignore political enemies who were assassinated, that's just classic Nige, but to ignore Big Donald?!?!?! Unthinkable.

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Just seen a man running down the street very fast, as if to an emergency, but with a baguette in his hand. I'd be interested to know what sort of situation he was on his way to confront.

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If not needing Daddy to fight your battles for you & you win 4 World Cup championship’s was a picture

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I was just queueing in the shop behind two young lads, who were discussing a kid from school. In a reverent voice one said '...he once spent a FIVER on Tic Tacs and ate all of them in under ten minutes.'

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