I, too, have written a poem about soup, but it gets a bit dark at the end: Go to Sainsbo and buy a tin Open the microwave and put it in Two minutes, stir, then one minute more God help us all if there’s a war.

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I, too, am absolutely furious that Andy Burnham hasn't marched straight into Paris, seized control of the French government and personally extinguished every burning car. Instead, the selfish bastard is governing the United Kingdom. Disgraceful.

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Happy #NewReleaseFriday! It's late again thanks to my 165-mile weekend cycling trip where I beheld the sea, itself, along the Lancashire coast in glorious autumn sunshine - perfect mental preparation for Vaughan Williams's breakthrough choral blockbuster! www.tunemymusic.com/share/6HrCJc...

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There's obviously a serious point here, but it's quite funny optics for the Conservative party to complain that it used to be so much quicker to build a stately home.

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Trump is Putin’s slave. I first used this phrasing at the end of 2016. To me, it was obvious. It took a decade for most other people to come to the same realization.

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