This “version of you” is you. You raped a woman, hid it from your coworkers and collaborators, and damaged dozens of reputations beyond your own. You had to reasonably know your deception would come to light one day, and chose not to reveal it on your own. Nothing ever stops existing, Jacob.

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God, awful. Sorry that happened to you.

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Rapists don't really care about your feelings in the first place and they're absolutely willing to use them.

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I'm in a much better place fortunately! But the very fact this rapist is resurfacing his victim in his language is insensitive to her and despite his wording, he is still bringing attention to her from him, which is incredibly retraumatizing. Him mentioning her at all is abusive and narcissistic.

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My rapist has made similar comments about me. When I have read them, they chill me and immediately put a pit in my stomach. It is seed planted meant to sow discord in the victim's interpretation of events. It is a fawning tactic that abusers use to diminish their own destructive actions.

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