I love the magic hat that has a high accuracy rate of determining whether your future is good, nerd, evil, or plaid

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That's an unfair reading of the book, the real draw are the moral values it teaches, like the importance of being more special and important than everyone else because you were just born that way.

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JK Rowling’s transphobia has ruined Harry Potter. That is a shame, there was a real magic in the fantasy of it. As a kid, I always loved imagining going to private coed boarding school. Inheriting a big pile of money. Drinking non alcoholic beer. Owning a little slave guy

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Druid Loving This Cloak Weather https://theonion.com/druid-loving-this-cloak-weather/

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I go to the store. I buy shallots. Are these good shallots or will they rot by tomorrow they look like they are on the edge. They say they are good shallots. I try to cut the shallot today to make dinner for my mom. It’s rotted

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