Was at the doughnut shop. Asked for a long John and the woman looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head. “A… what?” “That long John. Right there.” Her face folded on itself. “Long John is underwear.” “I’m from the Midwest.” We stared blankly at each other. Anyway I can never go back now.

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Ugh, Vernon is being shameless this morning! Dang suckup! #CorgiCrew

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I have been in Paris for three days (on vacation) and so far the only things I have learned to say in French are fuck and abolish.

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Some mornings call for a snuggle on the big bed #CorgiCrew #corgi #corgisky

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It’s too early in the morning (for me) to be on a call 🥱😪

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