FIFA has officially issued President Trump a yellow card. If he assassinates another world leader, it’ll become an automatic red card and he won’t be eligible for another FIFA Peace Prize for 4 years.

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What’s wrong, Congress? You’ve barely even touched your checks and balances

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im starting to think the woke mind virus wasnt actually the biggest threat to civilization

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I did manage to cannulate the thoracic duct once. I asked "Is this patient on a lot of propofol? I'm aspirating milky pink stuff"

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"Emergency podcasts, sir. Thousands of 'em"

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