I’d like to report this man, about 6’, weighing maybe 320#, but can’t miss him, really orange, with bad cotton candy hair, running a pay for play with monuments, institutions, and landmarks in DC. Can’t miss him, loud, always talking stupid shit.

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Paris Mayor Craig Smith: “It’s kind of a unique place where 75% vote for Trump, but probably 75% really care about their fellow citizen. Doesn’t quite compute sometimes.”

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Cold opening Scene: Superfans table at the bar. The camera slowly pans around the empty seats. Bartender comes over, without quietly wipes down the table. Looks up and directly into the camera: LIVE FROM NEW YORK -- IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!

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You can just, like, go sit at the bar at Pequods, and have a pizza for lunch all by yourself, and it's great.

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