With my friend the other day as we were out shopping, we talked about our fucked up childhoods and how our parents would gloss it over and so would we. Our trauma brains didn't remember any of it as trauma until we looked hard at it. Who else saw porn as babies? Or was raised in cults? Nah.

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Yes, lots of people cannot accept the emotional weight of the realization that not all parents are kind and nice people to their child. Some are broken, manipulative and punishing. Some are violent. "We didn't think you'd be functional." Those are my mother's words. Safety is thicker than blood.

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Sorry, film friends. I'm not going to see the sociopathy romp you're all trying to talk me into.

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Obviously the pain of being cut off is real! But I guess I don’t understand why the social crisis is their pain—the phenomenon’s upshot—when the real crisis is clearly the phenomenon’s cause: parent-led parent-child relationships that the child finds intolerable.

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As with anti-divorce arguments, the underlying premise here is that any explicit break in the family is a grave moral violation. And the underlying premise *there* is that some family members get to be immune to consequence, and others are prevented from complaint. Imagine defending that!

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