Sometimes when we leave the house my husband calls ‘I’ve got the key’ and without fail I call back ‘I’ve got the secret’ and then we laugh. When I say ‘we’ I mean me. Obvs

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Wife: Can’t we just buy a bigger catflap? Me: [buttering the cat] We’re not made of money, Helen

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me, interviewing mr. pepper: do you feel emasculated by your wife’s soda success?

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When i first walked into @vanityfairmagazine.bsky.social Oscar’s party I saw my girl Billie and gifted her a Barbie themed matching clock. Koolest part of the night is when Matt Damon asked for a selfie and gave me the greatest line, “You’re the celebrity’s celebrity”.

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