I love the period before a budget when every columnist writes a "what this budget needs to deliver" column, and they all find 1,000 words to say, "cut taxes for the rich and cut welfare spending to pay for it". It is a timeless ritual, as predetermined as druids at Stonehenge for the solstice.

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Never, but purely because I suspect this beard is hiding a hefty double chin!

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Outta my sight, scrub

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Can you guess what it is yet?

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