Any dessert involving some combination of Cool-Whip, Jell-O, or Jell-O pudding. I don't care who knows it. I will demolish it.

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I’m such a dork, multiple times in the 90s I literally had the thought “I wonder if there’s a good Nova on tonight, then Oh crap - it’s a fundraiser with riverdance.”

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I have declared war on the Halloween Industrial Complex, which somehow gets let off the overblown consumerism hook because so many people have convinced themselves that liking October is unique. Don’t worry, I will be here waiting when you come to your senses.

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Someone at work once asked me what my guilty pleasure was and I immediately shot back “pleasure never makes me feel guilty.” I’ve seldom felt cooler than I did in that moment. Literally one minute later I tripped on an extension cord and hit my head on a whiteboard in front of the entire office

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