“Hey honey, how was the flight?” “It was alright. Found out my seat mate was a missile guidance system destined to target victims of genocide. But at least I got the window seat!”

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Our pilot while on the tarmac in Chicago: “Nothing against you all but you’ve made my life miserable. I am a Utah Jazz fan and I hate Michael Jordan.”

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Missed Senegal’s first goal because I was on a call and lost track of time. Turned on Telemundo, went outside for one minute with the dogs, and missed the second goal. Decided I wouldn’t leave the couch, only for this to happen. I’m sorry everyone. This feels like my fault.

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@noahhurowitz.bsky.social mentioned!

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This fucking Leftist cuck @noahhurowitz.bsky.social wants to blame us for Mexico's inability to police their own country. Weird how cracking down on crime --anywhere in the world-- is met with such opposition by the Progressive element of the media.

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