The Onion

theonion.com

13 May 2026 00:11

“For more than a century, a statue of Abraham Lincoln has gazed out over the reflecting pool that bears his name and that has been filled with the sweet, slightly creamy coconut flavor he adored,” said preservationist Marie Pagano

The Onion

theonion.com

09 May 2026 02:11

“The line is ‘Is that lasagna I smell?’ not ‘A companion of gluttons shames his father,’ ” said Mark Dindal

Mark Hamill

markhamillofficial.bsky.social

01 March 2026 20:29

I prefer non-lethal distractions from the tRUMPSTEIN Files like renaming the Gulf of Mexico, making Canada the 51st state & buying Greenland. Sure it was hugely offensive to longtime friends & allies, but at least no one died.

Robert Reich

rbreich.bsky.social

01 March 2026 20:29

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." -Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953

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