Thanks for sharing this. If it’s any help, reading about your experiences made me appreciate the relationship I‘ve had with my parents these past 50 or so years. They told me and my brother they would never interfere in our adult lives and that their only wish was for us to be safe and happy.

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As a parent, I can't imagine beefing with an 8yo... like that isn't a reasonable thing to do *in the moment* let alone hold onto it for decades.

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In my experience, adult children aren't cutting off their parents for PAST sins, but for ONGOING ones. These are parents who have refused to change, to grow up, to treat their adult children with respect. They demand access, but only ever in abusive one-sided ways. This is why they get cut off.

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someone who doesn't understand boundaries. I get it. my mother was a malignant narcissist and I her chosen target. after I went no contact in '89, it took me so long to learn that boundaries weren't a punishment...

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The "punishment" language is also classic fundamental evangelical Christian nonsense. They believe only their god can punish them and that they should be forgiven for their sins, but no one else should. My mom's the same.

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