Three hours after I became an MP again, the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner reopened the inquiry into my £5 million gift. So that was a nice waste of six weeks.

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Apparently £5million can’t buy you enough security to protect you from an imaginary threat.

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Come on Clacton - strike a blow against The Establishment by voting for the guy in the top hat with bodyguards, who doesn't give a shit about you. #VoteBinface

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Can’t wait until tomorrow when all this hard work will be over and I can get back to… er… being investigated by the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner for not declaring a £5 million bribe.

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Never underestimate the self-pity of the ruling classes.

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