Are YOU ready for war?

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They had literally no idea that I played bass with D:Ream for 5 minutes AND wrote a book about Christmas, otherwise they would have shown deferential respect

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Hard to keep your dignity when a bunch of permatanned shitfaced 20 something men and women are ripping the piss out of you on the slow train to Chelmsford. Tried to maintain an air of weary amusement but it was pretty gruelling. My socks came in for particular abuse

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Disco ball crash helmet. You’re welcome. 🪩

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My wife, sensing I'm about to pull out my harmonica, gently places her hand on my thigh to let me know it's an inappropriate time. We are an incredible team.

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