decided that the Vatican’s official job description is "Arms Dealer for Iran." In an interview with Hugh Hewitt, the President revealed his latest "discovery": Pope Leo XIV apparently spends his Sunday mornings not just praying, but secretly rooting for a nuclear-armed Tehran.

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Because nothing says "successor of St. Peter" like a glowing endorsement of weapons of mass destruction. According to the President, the Pope has a very specific hobby: endangering millions of Catholics by suggesting that maybe; just maybe, peace is better than a missile strike.

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The President finds it "not very good" that the Pope would rather talk about nuclear-armed Iran than, presumably, whatever Truth Social post was trending that hour. It’s a bold new interpretation of the Gospel where "Blessed are the peacemakers" is actually translated as "Blessed

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are those who let Iran build a bomb." The President also reminded everyone that Pope Leo wouldn’t even be in the Vatican if it weren't for him. Apparently, the Holy Spirit and the College of Cardinals only picked the first American-born Popeas a strategic move to "deal with" the

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White House. It’s a refreshing take on church history: the Papacy as a branch of the Trump Organization that has suddenly gone rogue. While the Pope tried to preach about the "mission of peace" and asked critics to at least try to be "truthful," the President was quick to correct

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