Americans, please don’t worry about your child coming home from school a different sex. Worry about your child not coming home from school because they were shot to death.

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"I'm gonna go be on X anyway and you can't stop me," I mean, with one exception, I'm not your dad (and that one exception is even more vehemently against X than I am, so there's that), so do what you want, my dude, as for me, I'm happy not to hang out in the Nazi bar, there are other places to drink

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you can go back to X and I can’t stop you. it is also true that you can’t stop me or anyone else from thinking you’re a fascist-suckling piece of shit for doing so.

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I’ve really gained a good appreciation for actual mixology since I started drinking less. It’s a whole-ass art form!

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so we have a reasonably well stocked liquor cabinet but rarely drink liquor these days, which means we’ve decided to get rid of the liquor cabinet, which means we’re drinking liquor again because it seems like a shame to waste the liquor

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