The Onion

theonion.com

13 July 2026 20:52

Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham https://theonion.com/paramedics-praised-for-being-too-late-to-save-lindsey-graham/

Mr. Beat

iammrbeat.bsky.social

30 June 2026 15:32

This should have been 9-0. Shame on justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and Neil Gorsuch for not voting with the majority in this case. If you are born here, you're a citizen. Plain and simple.

TheRealJims

therealjims.bsky.social

19 May 2026 15:14

BREAKING: U.S. Supreme Court rules that Ralph Wiggum meant that he was good at sleeping (conquers it like a Viking) in a 6-3 decision

Mr. Beat

iammrbeat.bsky.social

25 February 2026 14:47

If this is true, this is way worse than Watergate. According to this report, the President of the United States deleted evidence against him in the Epstein Files that includes accusations of sexual assault and abuse of a minor.

TheRealJims

therealjims.bsky.social

16 February 2026 21:35

My nephew referred to me as being born "in the 1900s." I then crumbled into dust