Asking every zillennial Republican candidate about his divided loyalties and he’s like “I’m not running to be a Hitlerite congressman…I’m running for U.S. congress, and happen to be a Hiterite”

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Never stan a politician for obvious reasons but if El Sayed wants to put on one of his little ho shirts and suplex a single brain celled groyper then yeah sure I’ll watch the video

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If you didn’t know what They Might Be Giants looked like this would be a plausible option

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(texting my friend Evil Larry) me: what’s up dude Larry: matters most vile

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Trying to have a conversation but cracking up because some lady’s yorkie a little ways down the block is freaking out and she’s yelling “Stop it!!! Stop barking!!!!” at it to no effect

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