I wish the pumpkin had never come to me

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I am receiving multiple reports of weddings happening tomorrow that are NOT Halloween-themed and I would just like to be clear: this is illegal and, more importantly, homophobic.

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Props to D’s for getting such squeaky clean candidates…this is the best “October surprise” the press can conjure up

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a supermajority of millennials reading half these names: “who the fuck’s that?”

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I can just hear it FIVE BY FIVE IN THE PIPE

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