Reminds me of the time I had to help one of those hammer a water bottle into the face hole of a stuck fir suiter so we wouldn't have to cut him out til they had time to finagle the zipper (it was very hot). Technically we should have been breaking out the medical shears but try telling them that.

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“In THIS USDA plant hardiness zone? I’ve got to see it to believe it” * whips off mask *

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Highlight of the trick-or-treating night: A teenage boy whose mask made it harder to see than he’d bargained for, refusing to take it off, and instead being gently led around by his friend who would politely say things like “Japanese maple” as they navigated obstacles

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Gen Z clowning millennials for the stomp clap era music when in reality most millennials were cutting their teeth on Coldplay, Brittney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Nickelback, and a sea of nu metal. The Lumineers didn’t even come out until some of us were already in medical debt

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"We have determined we can extract more money from you by exploiting your dysphoria. Please allow us to shape your chewing extrusions."

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