ever since i was a little girl, i knew i wanted to smoke a battery operated square that gets me high

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"Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?" "Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!" "He was a zombie?"

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Thriftbooks added some whimsical loading nonsense when you search for a book, all a solid 20 seconds of "lining up books...dusting off the spines... Searching the shelves..." Instead of just quietly showing you the goddamn books near instantly the way it used to

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I hate the term “ratfucked” in politics. It takes something beautiful that happens between two or more rats and makes it disgusting

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I wanna pet the dog

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