in this one regard it would remove the entire issue and it's like. Fuck

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and it's just so dispiriting to know that if I just had a way out of this instead then instead of doing ALL that work just to scrounge mental dimes and nickels in the hopes of scraping anything together just getting out of work would. Probably not fix everything in my entire life but

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I've done so much work this year to raise my baseline and I think a lot of it has even helped but a) that stuff is itself work and b) it doesn't free me from still having to go back to work and having what energy I did build up sapped immediately

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Some days feel like being forcibly reminded burnout isn't just like. Having to go to work makes me depressed but in fact something that affects me all the time at work or not and makes everything harder and it's like. fuuuuuuuck dude what the fuck. Are you serious. This is bullshit

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[Food] My lunch for Halloween tomorrow! Pumpkin curry (with roasted pumpkin seeds of course).

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