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Also, when I am head of the world, we will not validate the kind of obnoxious tantrums described in the piece with TV series called The Rise of the Rockstar Chef.

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Men are far too emotional and volatile to be allowed near sharp knives and naked flames

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My Facebook has decided I'm interested in videos of a guy who makes giant chocolate sculptures, with a constant serial-killer smile. I'm assuming he beats his victims to death with a chocolate hammer and then eats the murder weapons.

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That thing where you had quite a late lunch and it was biggish but not huge (yes there were chips shut up) and now you’re not hungry but you know that come 11.38 you’ll be famished and it’ll be too late to eat properly so you’ll have four slices of toast and a hunk of cheddar the size of Basingstoke

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