once upon a time is how it always goes, but I'll make it brief what was started out with such excitement, now I'd gladly end end with relief in what now has become a familiar motif that nothing is good enough for people like you

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I think it's good actually that there's entire vast stretches of transdom who have shitty little code names for the "wrong kinds of girls" and whatever I do, no matter what my circumstances or reasons, that I'm going to be exemplary of what they think is the worst of us

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like yes I'm being glib and shitty (it's how I was raised) but really I'm kidding on the square. by removing myself from the reddit/ig/chan world of online trans misery, I instead get to spend my time making friends in the real world who (probably) don't call me a brick or whatever behind my back

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all of these people go into online trans spaces because they can't trust anyone in their small town or church or high school, but then they just recreate the awful backbiting and crab-bucketing those communities foster. I'd really rather just go to the bar and play pinball in a dress and "look ugly"

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and of course if you pass too well, they got different shitty names for you. meanwhile I'm out here on my third beer, putting up high scores and liking what I see in the mirror

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