The best part of being an adult is committing to a bit so hard that toddlers are thrilled and teenagers are embarrassed

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Anakin is basically a mass shooter story - I guess we can see why modern right wingers are into it

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toddler got so zooted on candy last night she grabbed my face and told me she was going to "fly up to the moon"

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I don't care how many skeletons you have coming out of your yard, the only measure of whether you're doing Halloween right is whether a kid is getting candy in their bucket

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A friend of mine took this pic a few years ago of a local station’s error. He sadly died earlier this year. While this isn’t exactly his legacy, it left a huge mark. So everyone please turn your cocks back tonight for Mike.

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