i was helping a customer and at the end he said “hey, this might be a fucked up question…” and i said “yeah…?” and he said “you wouldn’t happen to be dressed up for halloween would you?” and i laughed and said “i am!” and he said “would you happen to be peter griffin?” and i said “you got it!”

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For Ƿynn to take over he will have to explain to all of them that we're plural and what it means and what is doesn't mean

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I'm stuck in sign language classes now because Ƿynn wanted to learn sign language but I'm the one who found them and they asked my name and I gave them my name

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I bought fudge from walmart and this was a mistake as it is now gone. I hoover fudge. Fudge is the only thing in this world that makes me unable to resist. There are things that will exist in the back of my mind until I eventually return to them but if I open the fudge, all of it is getting eaten.

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whoever does the best lois griffin voice gets to come home with me, i need to hear an “oh peta” moaned directly into my ear

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