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My son is a WWII medic for Halloween. I told him to lose the cigarette and 1000 yard stare when he goes to school today.

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Years later, I did voice over re-writes on a BBC series about gorillas. One day the producer called to confirm who would be doing that voice over. “We’ve got Sir Patrick,” he said cheerily. After that, I knew it didn’t matter what I wrote, it would all sound fantastic. And it did.

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Oh, said the man, but I’m your guest. And to prove this he didn’t remove his sunglasses as most people might but theatrically raised his cap above his head to reveal the shiny dome beneath, instantly confirming that the delivery driver was in fact Sir Patrick Stewart. Delightful.

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A man in a cap and sunglasses approached. He had a Nokia phone in a leather belt holster and looked like one of the genial retirees that often delivered press cars to the studio. Sorry, we said, we’re in the middle of a script readthrough, someone else can take the keys off you.

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