Don't even start me on trying to publish my heartwarming children's picture book about how Santa is real by next Christmas. It's all "but illustrators are already booked up" and "actually the lead times on printing and shipping from China...". Pathetic.

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I told my editor that I had to go to South America to find treasure and rescue my kidnapped sister, and they were just like "how will this affect the delivery date", it's like none of the old publishing traditions are valued any more.

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attempting to seduce the married lesbian at the magic tournament by reminding her the only wife that matters is the last one

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When a member of the knitting club is murdered, the ladies of the seemingly harmless group set out to find her killer. Then they decide the police aren't nearly as effective as they are, and there are an awful lot of awful people who need to be dealt with... #W #A #H #HA #GhostPit 👻

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The purpose of NATO is to scare Russians with the prospect of a violent and painful demise should they attack a member state and I'm tired of having to pretend that's objectionable

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