“Sorry it took me a minute to get to the door; I have diarrhea” I explain to a family dressed as the Incredibles as I hand them little boxes of raisins

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Can you imagine this being the best joke you had for the president writing an essay listing all the ways you suck

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It’s always fun when the child in the Zach Braff Kevin Simmers costume meets a kid in the Holt McCallany David Trone costume and they can say their famous lines back and forth

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New York Times is reporting that 7 more Dan Sullivans have just appeared on the ballot in the Alaska senate race. "And they all look identical is the crazy part," said one fisherman who hasn't spoken to another human being in several years.

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I had a dream last night Jamiroquai died and people kept posting on social media stuff like “First Patrick Stewart and now Jamiroquai???”

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