I think Jeffries probably deserves a chance to prove himself. I think Schumer has already been weighed, measured, and found wanting.

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Two kids were at the door and the mom was in a hot dog costume and I hit her with a "we're all trying to find the guy who did this!" And in the most Minnesota get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here voice she went "OooOoh, okay!"

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Checkout guy at the grocery store was dressed like Patrick Bateman -- suit with a little blood on it, with a see-through plastic poncho on top -- and you just have to respect the low effort, high impact costume.

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That’s a straight red, the ref makes no attempt to play the ball.

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If you're a reporter pretending that the Dan Sullivan thing in Alaska is somehow (1) unprecedented, (2) illegal and/or (3) scandalous in any way, I'm never going to waste a moment reading a fucking word you write again. You're revealing that you're a stenographer at best and a con artist at worst.

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