consider the ass

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bummed out by an official email from The Scientists, confirming my body is "gross, but not a cryptid"

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Good morning would you like to see Ashes’ tiny sharp murder mitts? of course you would! behold:

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We swore we weren’t gonna get another grandma after the last one died, but when we saw this one at the shelter, we just knew we had to have her.

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My superpower is not sleeping and my name is Captain Insomnia and I’m boring as fuck.

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