And this is just me. I happen to work in environments where I come into contact with a lot of people, yes, but every disabled person I have ever met has a collection of this sort of story. Try not being a nosy pest, abled people.

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I have been asked how I use the bathroom. I have been asked for advice to give disabled people in their lives—complete fucking strangers! I have been shouted at for not answering questions, or correcting kids when they say something rude they obviously heard from their ignorant parents.

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Complete fucking strangers are so very worried about my husband. They assume we can’t discuss division of labor like grownups, or manage our own intimacy, or whether our life is “fair” to him. People who have never met him and literally just met me!

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That also doesn’t mean you should expect candor from everyone, and it doesn’t mean you should go up to complete fucking strangers and ask personal questions. I have had people I am in the middle of helping at work notice my wedding ring and ask “how does THAT work?”

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Sometimes I choose to share what goes on in my life/my family’s life/my work, etc, because I want to reduce the ambient ignorance we all stew in to everyone’s detriment. That’s my prerogative, and because I share one thing doesn’t mean I owe anyone anything else, or everyone something I said once.

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