Raiders v Jets, so a memory: grandma's birthday, whole family in town, all came to the game, two are Jets fans, we were losing, I sent a note to my family during the game: “if we lose this f**king game, I'm not coming to the birthday dinner," Nick Bell scored our winning touchdown, dinner was fun.

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i've never bought something new that made me feel as good as repairing something i already own

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Some fucking dickhead just tried to run me over whilst gearing up to attempt to run another car off the road. Gave him a “Jeeeeeesus fucking Christ dude you fucking piece of shit” and the middle finger but now I’m jumpy as hell any time a car makes a fucking noise.

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I’m a lil fucked but this is the happiest I’ve been in my life, I’m a few days away from nine years of sobriety and middle age. I have almost died a thousand times. Keep going, it’s worth it. If you do not give a fuck, the I don’t give a fuck intensifies the older you get. Hold on. Joy is coming.

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they don't even get the true level of cringe right, if anyone wanted to roast us so badly they'd go as marnie singing stronger at charlie's tech company party:

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