Haley Stevens will have no future whatsoever in politics and for the rest of her life will blame that on her insane and bizarre relationship with Israel and I think that’s very funny overall

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SOUP MAGNETO: There’s something different about you today. New haircut? GUARD: Nope. SOUP MAGNETO: Ah yes… you had a big bowl of Soup for lunch. GUARD: What? I —AAAUUGHH [soup molecules are torn from his body and formed into bouillon cubes which smash the soup-free prison]

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I fucking quit.

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alright folks it's time to get really fired up about the NBA Cup

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Absolutely. Obviously I want my own personal situation to be part of that, but even if it doesn’t (and I’m cautiously optimistic we’re going to win) on the whole I think there’s going to be a lot to celebrate

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