The woman who moved in behind us cut down the boundary trees that were meant to remain there for privacy. One Sunday afternoon I flung a load of boiled potatoes over into her garden, not sure why. I might have been drunk, but god it felt good.

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I'm fairly sure I've avoided multiple round of layoffs as my +3 manager is gay and thinks I too am gay and looks out for me. I'm a just a slightly depressed 45 year old unmarried guy who keeps himself fit and keeps my private life private at work.

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I wish the fiancee wouldn't refer to a BJ as her "hubby batter fix" but at least it's better than her early term "baby batter fix" which caused me to become impotent for 15 minutes. Still, I can't be ungrateful about BJs and she's a good person far below the surface.

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Writing an email to a protective new client, autocorrect changed the name to Dear Mr Strumpet. Could have corrected it myself but in these days of "AI escaped and did crimes" excuses I stopped giving a shit.

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At my 9-year-old daughter's party at the swimming pool, the kids saw some poo floating in the pool. I only informed the staff when it was time for us to leave, because I knew they were required to evacuate the pool, and so they did.

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