Drying two duvet covers. Just thought to myself that I shouldn’t put the one that was washed second on the heated dryer as it ‘wouldn’t be fair’ to the one that was washed first. I live alone.

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Our loss is pork markets’ gain.

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They’re also so thick that they probably don’t even know that Dua Lipa’s parents are Kosovan Albanian. And I’m assuming that Sade was born in Ibadan, Cumbria and not Ibadan, Nigeria.

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Where to begin? The Gallaghers’ parents were Irish. So was Kate Bush’s mother. And you can bet their Bowie playlist will heavily favour “Heroes”, famously recorded in Germany with a band of Black Americans. I mean, it’s not just racist bollocks, it’s very stupid racist bollocks. Same thing, I guess.

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You think your Halloween was spooky? I went trick or treating in Waldseilung Krumme Lanke, a housing development built in the late 30's for SS officers and their families. It was designed in the so-called Heimatschutz style, a kind of cosy rural modernism. It is a very unsettling place.

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