Oh yay!! That’s so funny!

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You know when you fall flat on your ass and it takes your breath away and you can't even scream and so you sit with your broken ass in complete silence while you process that you broke your ass and it's gonna hurt like a motherfucker when you snap out of it??? Yeah. Yeah.

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oh yeah before i forget i had a dream last night where i met dolly parton. i got to tell her that her tits looked fantastic, and she said “and you know the best part? they’re attached to me” and then i woke up

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crossing the street, heading to do halloweekend things, in costume, guy on the other side, "hey can i get ur n—lemme get ur num... ohh my fault, that's a cowBOY."

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it's time for me to admit that I watched the entire first season oh The Rehearsal thinking that it was a scripted drama about a fictional reality show. now. I realize mr. fielder may not be entirely upront about everything he does. however I am coming to terms with the fact that it may have been […]

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