Abdul El-Sayed: RFK Jr. didn't bother to show up when 8,000 people were infected by the shit lettuce. He wants to lecture you about electing an Arab-American to the US Senate. This is what happens when you DOGE the part of government that protects you from the lettuce that has been shat upon.

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Abdul El-Sayed: I find it personally offensive that RFK Jr. works out in jeans. Which means by definition, he's gotta skip leg day. Can't be doing leg day in some jeans.

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Abdul El-Sayed: Donald Trump wants you to know that he is on the ballot. He wants you to vote like he is on the ballot. I want you to vote like Trump is on the ballot. Because he is on the ballot. His war in Iran is on the ballot. His tariff war is on the ballot. His big ugly bill is on the ballot.

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Abdul El-Sayed: They keep sending that Ohio State buckeye here. What is his name? JV Dance. They keep sending JV here. And asking JV to do the dirty work. But JV has zero charisma. They taught him that at Ohio State. When your school mascot is a nut, what do you expect?

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Analyst: Approval of Congress, just 14% of Americans approve of congress. My goodness gracious. Congressional approval rating is often low, but it ain't this low. We're talking about the lowest ever going into a midterm election, and 81% of Americans disapprove of the job that congress is doing.

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