I'm really fucking devastated right now so instead here's the picture Patrick Stewart posted nearly 13 years ago to the day with the caption "happy halloween" of him dressed as a giant lobster in a bathtub.

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The amount of life saving wisdom this man delivered to me will probably never really be fully understood to me. This is a big one. I'd literally be dead without this.

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I love setting food in the microwave just to get it off of the counter so my cat won't eat it and then forgetting about it until the next day when I go to use the microwave

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it's ejection day (pulls lever attached to side of couch activating an ejector seat that launches me directly into the ceiling killing me instantly)

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The eight people that have told me they're libertarians were all bearded white dudes who said the N-word when they drank.

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