The teens who show up at the end of the night without costumes perform an important ecological function of taking the last of the candy away so you don't get a raging sugar headache. (Make sure to reserve one piece to melt in you coffee the next morning, tho.)

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We’re sick so I put candy in a bowl on our front stoop with a note saying “please take a handful” because “please take 3” or something seemed weirdly precise. So I just overheard a group of kids at the bowl and a boy yelled, “Guys! Let me get everyone’s candy - I’m older and I have bigger hands!” 🤣

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In a political landscape so often dominated by insecure and calculating weirdos, it’s nice to see a dude with the self confident dad energy to happily don a Buzz Lightyear costume

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Not only that, celebrate that teens are hanging out with each other outside. For all the crap that teens get for just being on their screens all the time, here's a chance for them not to be. Give them candy.

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It will never not be funny to me that Tucker Carlson woke up in a bed with four dogs and scratches on his body and concluded that he must have been attacked by a supernatural force. Pet owners, idk

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